The film Stranger than Fiction stars Will Ferrell as Harold Crick, a tax-man/auditor who begins to hear Emma Thompson narrating his life. Unfortunately whilst watching it last night I failed to note down any examples of this narration, thereby making this blog almost null and void. However I will attempt to convey the gist of it in my own inimitable style. Ferrell begins to hear almost every mundane aspect of his life narrated in his head as he goes about his daily business. Merely irritating to him at first, he soon becomes aware that something more disturbing is going on and that in fact his life is in danger. As Emma Thompson puts it: "Little did he know that this simple seemingly innocuous act would result in his imminent death." Thank you imdb. It's a jolly good film but I couldn't help but wonder how my own life would sound should an author decided to make me the subject of her next book. I expect it would go something like this:
Giraffe-a-licious awoke that Wednesday morning with the same disappointed feeling with which she awoke every morning. The world was still the same. She hadn't been magically transported to a parallel world of excitement and fun. At the age of 23 she was still living with her parents and experiencing the delights of suburban Britain. She extricated herself from the stack of pillows that had somehow made their way across the bed during the night and grimacing, levered herself into an upright position. She noticed the DVD player was still on. Whilst grabbing wildly in an attempt to locate her dressing gown she slowly began to piece together the events of the night before. She remember that she had forgotten to take her anti-depressants until gone 11:30pm - a good two hours late - and that she'd watched a number of West Wing episodes without getting to the point of sleep. Giraffe-a-licious was a closet Martin Sheen fan. In desperation at around about 1:30am she had reached for The Sound of Music. The last thing she remembered was Julie Andrews swinging her guitar and suitcase over-enthusiastically whilst belting out "I have confidence in sunshine.." Giraffe-a-licious did not have confidence in sunshine this morning. Or for that matter confidence in rain. She trudged to the door, down the stairs and into the kitchen. As she opened the cupboards robotically she noticed with great displeasure that someone had finished the last of the Crunchy Nut Cornflakes. She sighed. Little did she know just how bad her day was going to be.