Snow fever

This time last week I was jumping up and down with joy at the sight of the lovely white flakes falling from the sky. I would have been aghast at the very idea that there could be such a thing as too much snow. Yet here I am a week later, fed up of this incessant wintry weather. It was great fun of course. For a while. The snow cat was built. A snow giraffe followed. Next up was a snow fort. And finally an igloo. But I've rather run out of steam and inspiration since then. I'm fed up of having to wear wellies every time I leave the house. I'm annoyed at being unable to drive wherever and whenever I want to. I just got back from a quick trip into town and my trainers appear to have acquired a permanent squelch. My feet are suitably wet and it's horrible and slushy out there. In some ways that's a good thing. Everything is thawing. But the weathermen inform me that a 'winter storm' is on the way. Oh goodie. Just what we need.

Incidentally I also saw a mad woman in town. She was wearing the tiniest denim shorts possible. Yes, she had tights on underneath but they were hardly woolly ones. What's wrong with these people?!

Wet feet make me grumpy. Can you tell?

Been a long time...

Boo!

Ha. Did I scare you?

It's been very quiet around here for far too long.

I wanted to come back with a bang but I fear that it is like to be more of a pathetic mewing noise. No matter, I shall continue undeterred for I know how long you've all been holding your collective virtual breath, just waiting for Miss G. Raffe Alicious to end her silence.

So a few things to get off my chest.

1.) I turn my back on my blog for a couple of months and what happens? The country, nay the world goes into economic meltdown. Good grief. Banks are being bailed out. Stock markets are in panic. Banks are merging. Politicians are back-stabbing (although that's nothing new). Unemployment is rising. The Liberal Democrats are conferencing (not quite so interesting that bit). I can't read a paper or turn on a TV without hearing about the credit crunch or mortgage rates or investment bankers or A. N. Other huge company I've never heard of going into receivership. Perhaps I should be reading The Sun and watching Channel 5? My friends and fellow citizens of the world, I have the solution: STOP PANICKING! I'm convinced that we're talking ourselves into a far deeper recession than we'd otherwise have experienced. Please note that this is coming for a certified expert on the subject. That's not just any A-level I have, it's an Economics A-level.

2.) Finally a reality concept that I can get on board with - the Revels Eviction. Oh joy! It appears that no longer shall we have to face the horrors of the Coffee Revel! Please excuse me as I take this moment to do a little victory dance.

My victory dance has been sadly cut short by a rumour that they plan to replace said evil coffee flavoured confectionery with a mint creme centred creation. Now I nothing against mint per se
but it does have a terribly unfortunate habit of contaminating everything else that it comes into contact with. I fear a world of minty-orange revels, minty-caramel revels, minty-raisined revels and the like may be upon us. Oh the humanity!

3.) Weather people - I know that it is cruel to accuse them of inaccuracies, meteorology is a rather inaccurate science (or so I'm told) but honestly could they not just hold off on their declarations of 'an Indian summer is coming - get out your sunglasses!'. Indian summer? Indian summer my foot. I was wearing three layers of clothing today AND a scarf - inside! I mean I've never been to India but I'm pretty sure that's not what they wear in their summer.

And finally, I feel moved to utter a few cheers for certain individuals who have made a favourable impression on me over the last few months of blog inactivity.

Giraffe-a-licious salutes:

• Andy Murray, for his wonderful run to the US Open final
• Chris Hoy, for his 3 Olympic gold medals
• In fact, I salute every British Olympic and Paralympic Gold Medallist (and some of the non-gold medallists too for that matter).
• The Script, for their wonderful debut album
• Christopher Nolan, for making the quite simply brilliant Dark Knight.
• ITV4, for buying the rights to and showing the Guinness Premiership Rugby Highlights.

Let the sunshine in

Finally! The sun is back - for the moment at least. I'm making the most of its most likely short lived stay by tapping this out in the back garden. The sun is shining, my bones are warming and I can barely read the screen due to the brightness of the aforementioned star.

There's no question that I feel better during the warmer months. Who knows why, but the warmer it is, the less pain I get. There is a bit of a trade-off involved - the heat is good for my aches but does tire me out fairly quickly. Still, I shall not moan for we have seen too little in the way of solar rays this June and July. Roll on August I say!

A mere 24 days to go now until the Olympics! Tell me, why have I arranged to be away with a group of 14-18 year olds for 10 precious days of the competition? Well it's a combination of stupidity and zeal for the gospel. If anyone asks, I will be focusing on the latter! Whatever events I do manage to catch, I hope that they don't involve Dwain Chambers. Chambers finds out on Thursday if his High Court case against the British Olympic Association's lifetime Olympic ban has been successful. I'm with the BOA on this one. He cheated. He admits he cheated. If he says sorry then I hope that the majority of people will forgive him. However, forgiving someone and allowing them to compete in an event that they have brought into disrepute are two very different things. In my mind, if you take illegal performance enhancing drugs then you forfeit the right to continue on in that sport, no matter how sorry you are. Chambers knew the rules and yet still broke them. He was in no way ignorant of the BOA's stance on drug cheats. He shouldn't be going to Beijing. Ironically this is quite the metaphorical storm in a tea cup. Chambers has as much chance of getting a medal next month as I do of marrying Jonny Wilkinson. Actually, he probably has less chance - my charms are not inconsiderable!