Monday, 20 August 2007


I, like a number of the British population, have been glued to the box in the corner each Wednesday evening for the televisual genius that is Heroes. The American import flew onto BBC2 accompanied by a shed-load of hype and a BBC marketing campaign of super-human proportions. Surely no programme could live up to this fanfare? Well, so far it's doing a darn good job. Intriguing storylines, glossy visuals and genuinely interesting characters have certainly contributed towards its success but it's main powerplay against the rest of the TV world is simply the fact that deep down inside we all wish we had super powers.

I'm no different. In fact I have been known to take this desire to another level. A couple of years ago my sister and I held a Superhero Party. Attendees were invited to create and dress as their own personal superhero. Party goers included; Radioactive Girl; Mattman; Superstar; Cycloman and Superglue. My crime fighting identity was Danger Girl. Sadly, not as exciting as it sounds. During the many in depth discussions over the the abilities of our alter-egos it was decided that even as a Superhero I'd still have M.E. Thus my role would be as a type of Superhero secretary, based at HQ and organising the schedules of my fellow heroes. Unexciting but ultimately indispensible I think you'll agree. Nonetheless, this has lead me to further thought on what type of superpower would be the most useful to the M.E. sufferer.

My first inclination was towards the power of flight. Everyone wants that one don't they? I've never even been on a plane so to fly independently would be something pretty special. Unfortunately, if we're still working under the assumption that I have M.E., then just as I can't walk very far, I would most likely also be rather limited in my flying capacity! Back to the drawing board.

Spontaneous regeneration? Well that rather depends on how we define it. If it just means that whenever I injure myself I heal and therefore can't die then quite frankly I can do without that. The idea of living eternally with this blinking illness does not fill me with joy. Although if we're talking no aches or pains then I'm most definitely on board.

However, I have to come to the conclusion that for the M.E. sufferer the most desirable super power must be teleportation. The ability to get anywhere you choose within a millisecond - what could be better? No energy zapping car, train or plane journeys. No need to worry if you run out of energy whilst out shopping and can't drive back home. The solution if you're house-bound and you've just about managed to get downstairs only to realise that you've forgotten some vital item now uselessly waiting for you upstairs! The possibilties are endless.

Sadly though, I must bring myself back down to earth. I cannot teleport. At least not yet. Maybe the next time there's an eclipse? Then with my powers at the ready, full of the confidence of a superhero I shall finally be fully equipped and prepared to fight my arch-nemesis........DLA man!

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