All I want for Christmas...

... is not you. Sorry. It is in fact my two front teeth. Thankfully I shall not have to wait until Christmas. Unfortunately I do have to wait until October.

I am currently the proud owner of one and a half front teeth, plus a temporarily attached second half. I woke up at 3am on Tuesday morning to be greeted by a slightly less toothy smile than I'm used to seeing in the mirror. No panic though - this wasn't the first time.

The first time was roughly 6 years ago. That morning there was definite panic from the 18 year old Giraffe-a-licious. In fact I would go so far as to use capitals - PANIC! Half my front tooth was missing and I had visions of spending the rest of my life in such a state. Not my ideal look I must admit. I rang my then boyfriend and with just a smidgen of hysteria in my voice desperately asked, "Will you still love me?" His oh-so-reassuring reply was: "I haven't seen how bad it is yet!" He was not my favourite person that day.

Anyway, to cut a long story a little bit shorter, the dentist worked a minor miracle and from that day til Tuesday my smile has been happily complete. That was when the filling fell off. I made an appointment with my friendly tooth-man but had to spend the intervening 36 hours alternating between being Gappy McGappison and gingerly reattaching the filling to the vacant tooth (this proved surprisingly effective until I tried to eat - or sing at my church prayer meeting!).

Sadly when I did get to see Mr D. Entist he didn't have time to do the proper job. So instead I have some sort of temporary filling which is proving rather annoying. I was eating a Hobnob today and became convinced that it was stuck to my tooth. A glance in the mirror told me that there was no such biscuit on my tooth but that the front of said tooth simply has the texture of a Hobnob. Very reassuring. So I'm stuck with this weird tooth anomaly thing until the 15th October. Lovely.

Thankfully my dentist is much friendlier than this one.

"Incredible, one of the worst performances of my career..."

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." - Ferris Bueller

He's right you know. Life moves pretty fast. So this is me stopping and looking around for a bit. It has been 4 months, 22 days, 22 hours and 27 minutes since last you heard from me. Not that I have to tell you that, I'm sure you've all been counting. But why the months of silence I hear you cry? Well, life's been moving pretty fast.

I need to start with the big news because all the other news really stems from that: 11 years of M.E. are behind me and no years of M.E. are in front of me! I'm delighted to tell that I have made improvements in leaps and bounds since around November last year. I signed up for The Lightning Process with some lovely people in Suffolk and results have been remarkable. It is one of those things that is often viewed with suspicion by the M.E. community - hardly surprising. In fact when I first started researching it I was one of those cynics. It's a cynicism born of years of either no treatment or utterly ineffective ones and little hope for the future. It's the self-preservation instinct. Many sufferers have had their hopes raised by various promises of 'cures' only to have these dreams come crashing down around their ears. I won't recommend The Lightning Process unreservedly. It was the most difficult thing that I've ever done (and that includes dealing with the loss of the 2007 Rugby World Cup!) and I'm not convinced that every person will cope with it but I can't deny the fact that it's worked for me. This blog is not the place to go into details but feel free to comment leaving your e-mail address if you'd like to hear any more of my thoughts.

So it's all change for Giraffe-a-licious. I have a job! Since June I've been working part time in the office of a local primary school. I'm just coming to the end of the school holidays now so I've got to get my work head back in order but so far so good. Do you know what the best thing is about having a job? Not having to look for a job! Job hunting must be one of the most soul-destroying undertakings in life. Gives me shivers just thinking about it. Ugh.

And finally....

Last week I turned 25. A quarter of a century, as my younger friends have been quick to inform me. So expect an increasingly grumpy blogger in the coming months - old women have that right apparently.

G. Licious vs Hollywood

If you've had the misfortune to be a regular reader of my blog then you've probably gathered by now that I quite like to watch the odd film. According to the helpful but rather superfluous Labels function provided by Blogger I can tell you that it is currently the 3rd most blogged about topic on Ponderings and Ruminations - tied with TV but just pipping gripes.

I may love films but I can promise you I'm no actress. Can't be doing with all those people looking at me. I might actually be a very skilled thespian, but the world will just have to resign itself to the fact that it will never know.

But it occurred to me the other day that even if I was an outgoing type with all the talent of Judi Dench, the beauty of Jennifer Aniston and the wit of Sandra Bullock I'd probably never be able to be successful. Why? Because I'm a Christian. Now I'm not saying that I wouldn't make it because Christians are discriminated against in the industry (they may or may not be, I haven't a clue) but simply because there would be no roles for me. As a Christian I wouldn't want to swear in a movie and I would be uncomfortable about being in a film that featured sex outside of marriage - let alone actually be in a sex scene! With just those two stipulations I have pretty much blown my chances of a film career. How many films are there these days that I could get involved in? If I became a Christian after having become a successful actor then no doubt it would be possible to pick and choose roles in family friendly projects. But as a newbie trying to get a foot in the door I expect I'd be laughed out of Hollywood.

I don't know exactly what point I'm trying to make (you should all know by now that I'm rather prone to rambling musings!) but it's certainly something worth mulling over don't you think?

P.S. I am aware that I could easily be labelled a hypocrite. After all I watch a lot of films that I've stated that I wouldn't want to be in. But I do think that there's a difference between viewing something and endorsing or promoting it by being in it.

F1 bungle

Ooh interesting developments are afoot. I was all set to write a blog decrying the change of scoring system for the new season of Formula One, but apparently I'm not the only one unimpressed by the FIA's decision to crown the driver with the most wins as World Champion rather than the most consistent performer currently rewarded by the scoring system.

The Formula One Teams Association (FOTA) have just announced that they are to officially question the validity of the new system. Opposition has been voiced not only against the system itself but also in protestation at the lateness of the change of plan; the first race of the season takes place in just over a week's time.

It may be a long shot but let's hope that common sense prevails. It seems absurd to me that a driver that won 5 races but failed to finish the other 12 could be World Champion over a competitor with 4 race wins and 13 2nd places to his name. I do despair at not only the ignorance of the people in charge of this sport but also their seeming lack of passion for their product. Mentioning no names of course... but it sounds a bit like Fernie Pecclestone.

That Monday feeling... on a Friday...

You've got to hand it to some people; why stick to mediocrity when you have the chance to redefine the term 'dire'?

Today's guilty party? The Haunting in Connecticut.

I mean really, what kind of name is that for a film? It's the equivalent of a Brit making 'The Haunting in Worcestershire'.

Come to think of it, surely Worcestershire has far more fright potential than Connecticut?*

And whilst I'm having a rant, who do Heinz think they're kidding when they say that their 400g Tomato Soup cans contain 2 servings? Servings for small woodland creatures perhaps! Certainly not for grown adults. Wake up Heinz and smell the Trade Descriptions act!

Soup. For one.

* I should probably point out that I haven't actually seen said scary Connecticut film. Nor do I intend to. But that title is definitely enough to justify my 'dire' label.

Dearest Albert

I have a new love in my life. Here he is:

Oh wait. That's not exactly right. I was thinking more along these lines:

Ah... much better.

You may have guessed that I've just got back from watching The Young Victoria at the cinema. It's a fairly standard costume drama - the type that I love - but rather heavy on the romance - which I don't usually love. But Prince Albert here won me over. Apparently he's actually some actor sort; goes by the name Rupert Friend, but seeing as there's no way on earth that Mr Friend could ever match up to the lovely Prince Consort, he'll always be Albert to me. Sigh.

#Your looks are laughable...#

People of the world - I hate to break it to you, but you're being duped. I ask you, is there anything less romantic than Valentine's Day? A day of mass manipulation by the confectionery, greeting cards, flowers, champagne and retail industries.

These are not the rantings and ravings of a bitter, single woman. Granted, they are the ramblings of a single woman but that is clearly beside the point. I just don't get the whole Valentine's Day hoopla. Surely romance is about spontaneity? Showing someone you love them when they least expect it. Actually it's probably more romantic to find a way to live that shows someone you love them each and everyday.

Do excuse me whilst I take a minute to go and throw up somewhere. (Oh dear, that might just be some bitterness being vomited into the bathroom sink).

Ahem.

My point is that Valentine's Day doesn't come close to meeting either of those criteria. It's not spontaneous and it's not long lasting. It's probably too late for a boycott this time around. But next year, when all those shops try to lure you in with their lovey-dovey window displays and bargain chocolate and wine combo offers, do as the Grange Hill kids once did - "Just say no!"