Been a long time...

Boo!

Ha. Did I scare you?

It's been very quiet around here for far too long.

I wanted to come back with a bang but I fear that it is like to be more of a pathetic mewing noise. No matter, I shall continue undeterred for I know how long you've all been holding your collective virtual breath, just waiting for Miss G. Raffe Alicious to end her silence.

So a few things to get off my chest.

1.) I turn my back on my blog for a couple of months and what happens? The country, nay the world goes into economic meltdown. Good grief. Banks are being bailed out. Stock markets are in panic. Banks are merging. Politicians are back-stabbing (although that's nothing new). Unemployment is rising. The Liberal Democrats are conferencing (not quite so interesting that bit). I can't read a paper or turn on a TV without hearing about the credit crunch or mortgage rates or investment bankers or A. N. Other huge company I've never heard of going into receivership. Perhaps I should be reading The Sun and watching Channel 5? My friends and fellow citizens of the world, I have the solution: STOP PANICKING! I'm convinced that we're talking ourselves into a far deeper recession than we'd otherwise have experienced. Please note that this is coming for a certified expert on the subject. That's not just any A-level I have, it's an Economics A-level.

2.) Finally a reality concept that I can get on board with - the Revels Eviction. Oh joy! It appears that no longer shall we have to face the horrors of the Coffee Revel! Please excuse me as I take this moment to do a little victory dance.

My victory dance has been sadly cut short by a rumour that they plan to replace said evil coffee flavoured confectionery with a mint creme centred creation. Now I nothing against mint per se
but it does have a terribly unfortunate habit of contaminating everything else that it comes into contact with. I fear a world of minty-orange revels, minty-caramel revels, minty-raisined revels and the like may be upon us. Oh the humanity!

3.) Weather people - I know that it is cruel to accuse them of inaccuracies, meteorology is a rather inaccurate science (or so I'm told) but honestly could they not just hold off on their declarations of 'an Indian summer is coming - get out your sunglasses!'. Indian summer? Indian summer my foot. I was wearing three layers of clothing today AND a scarf - inside! I mean I've never been to India but I'm pretty sure that's not what they wear in their summer.

And finally, I feel moved to utter a few cheers for certain individuals who have made a favourable impression on me over the last few months of blog inactivity.

Giraffe-a-licious salutes:

• Andy Murray, for his wonderful run to the US Open final
• Chris Hoy, for his 3 Olympic gold medals
• In fact, I salute every British Olympic and Paralympic Gold Medallist (and some of the non-gold medallists too for that matter).
• The Script, for their wonderful debut album
• Christopher Nolan, for making the quite simply brilliant Dark Knight.
• ITV4, for buying the rights to and showing the Guinness Premiership Rugby Highlights.

Let the sunshine in

Finally! The sun is back - for the moment at least. I'm making the most of its most likely short lived stay by tapping this out in the back garden. The sun is shining, my bones are warming and I can barely read the screen due to the brightness of the aforementioned star.

There's no question that I feel better during the warmer months. Who knows why, but the warmer it is, the less pain I get. There is a bit of a trade-off involved - the heat is good for my aches but does tire me out fairly quickly. Still, I shall not moan for we have seen too little in the way of solar rays this June and July. Roll on August I say!

A mere 24 days to go now until the Olympics! Tell me, why have I arranged to be away with a group of 14-18 year olds for 10 precious days of the competition? Well it's a combination of stupidity and zeal for the gospel. If anyone asks, I will be focusing on the latter! Whatever events I do manage to catch, I hope that they don't involve Dwain Chambers. Chambers finds out on Thursday if his High Court case against the British Olympic Association's lifetime Olympic ban has been successful. I'm with the BOA on this one. He cheated. He admits he cheated. If he says sorry then I hope that the majority of people will forgive him. However, forgiving someone and allowing them to compete in an event that they have brought into disrepute are two very different things. In my mind, if you take illegal performance enhancing drugs then you forfeit the right to continue on in that sport, no matter how sorry you are. Chambers knew the rules and yet still broke them. He was in no way ignorant of the BOA's stance on drug cheats. He shouldn't be going to Beijing. Ironically this is quite the metaphorical storm in a tea cup. Chambers has as much chance of getting a medal next month as I do of marrying Jonny Wilkinson. Actually, he probably has less chance - my charms are not inconsiderable!

Olympic spirit

Honestly guys, just quit while you're behind. This Olympic torch debacle needs to be stopped.

I love the Olympics a great deal more than your average person. When I was really ill back in 1999, the thought of the Sydney Olympics in 2000 was a strange sort of encouragement to me. OK, so I might still be ill and stuck in the house but at least I'd have a month or so of amazing sport to soak up from the sofa.

The Olympics are unique. So many countries; so many sports; all meeting together to compete for the greatest prizes and provide a sporting spectacle like no other. Please note: a sporting spectacle.

I've been nervous about Beijing being awarded the games from the off. I believe that the decision to hold the games there was a political one and that it has set the scene for a potentially disastrous Olympics where the world's focus will not be on the sporting talent on show, but on the political actions of the Chinese government.

I won't pretend to know all the ins and outs of the Tibet situation but from what I've heard it seems fairly clear that China are knee-deep in a volatile and violent situation which they are exacerbating. Many people feel understandably strongly about this and they have a right to protest. I disagree with the way in which many have done so, but behind the headlines there are plenty of protesters using the Olympics and the relay in particular to make their voices heard, but peacefully with respect for the Games and the competitors. That's fine by me. Sport is a great tool for change but it should never be used at the expense of the sport itself.

Sadly this is the situation in which we find ourselves currently. Pictures of gangs of security guards and policemen surrounding the torch are doing nothing to bring the Olympic spirit to the world. Extinguishing the flame and sticking it on a bus? Absurd. Carrying on regardless will only damage the tournament more. China seem intent on carrying out their ridiculous plan to take the torch through Tibet and up to Mount Everest. It is utter folly. Mark it down as a lesson learned and get yourselves sorted for when the games actually begin. Either that or they need to get themselves out of Tibet.

On a slightly lighter note... what the Dickens were Denise Van Outen and Konnie Huq doing carry the torch? It's celebrity gone mad. In case you missed my point earlier: the Olympics is about sport! Is it so shocking to suggest that only sports-people take part in the relay?